When You’ve Kissed Too Many Frogs: How to Start Over Right

Did you know I am a fairytale junkie? I don’t think many people know that about me.

I am a sucker for those princess stories like Cinderella, Snow White, Little Mermaid etc. One of my favorite movies is the Cinderella with Brandy … singing “impossible for a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage” … okay okay… you get the drift:-)

This blog topic came to me from the story, The Princess and The Frog, and me being a bit too transparent with y’all about my business!!  But aye… we’re in this together right? 

There comes a point in your journey when you have to sit with yourself honestly and admit, “I think I’ve kissed a few too many frogs”.  Not just in the romantic sense, but in the decisions, the patterns, the situationships, the emotional entanglements and the seasons where discernment took a backseat to chemistry and attention. 

And if I’m really honest about my own journey, there were moments where I went on dates that had no real direction, just company, free food and conversation that filled a temporary gap I didn’t want to confront.

There were times I entertained men I already knew didn’t align with my faith, but the chemistry was strong, the attention felt good and I confused being seen with being sent!! whew…. 

I’ve shared the blog where I truly believed I heard God clearly about someone, then they got married to someone who isn’t you…  

I have also shared with you when my ex told me, “You’re a Benz trying to settle for a Honda” and while it sounded flattering on the surface, it exposed something deeper in me about how I was valuing myself and what I was willing to tolerate just to avoid loneliness.

Should I go on… (cover eyes)!

I’ve been in that weird space where someone says, “God told me I should pursue you,” but my spirit is not at peace and instead of trusting that inner knowing immediately, I wrestled with it longer than I should have.

Then embarrassingly, I have also walked through the weight of sexual sin and broken purity commitments I made to God and the aftermath of that isn’t just guilt—it’s the internal battle of wondering how you got there when you said you wouldn’t go back there again (even as a minister of the Gospel). 

Somewhere in all of this, the story of The Princess and the Frog starts to lose its fairytale glow, because in the story, the frog becomes a prince after one kiss… but real life doesn’t always follow that script. In real life, sometimes you keep hoping the frog will change, sometimes you keep reinterpreting red flags as potential and sometimes you realize you’ve been trying to turn something into a kingdom relationship that was never built for that level of commitment. Heartbreaking… isn’t it?!! 

Some frogs don’t turn into princes. Some frogs are just frogs. And sometimes the real growth is not in the kissing, but in the stopping. And some frogs leave you with warts …eww..

If we’re being honest… some of us weren’t just kissing frogs. We were building emotional homes in swamps God never called us to stay in.

Starting over right is not just about moving on—it’s about returning to truth, returning to God and returning to yourself without shame but from a place of wisdom (hopefully).

Starting over has looked like being honest with God about my choices; not hiding, not pretending, not performing but coming back and saying, “God, I missed it… but I’m still Yours”. 

Starting over is learning to trust God again with my love life… even after I made a mess of it in some seasons and no longer condemn yourself from not getting it right because I knew better. 

Here is where my practical brain needs to leave you with three grounded lessons I’ve had to learn the hard way: 

1. Not every connection that feels good is God: — Chemistry is not confirmation and attention is not assignment. There are people who can talk you into confusion while making it feel like a connection, but peace will always tell the truth long after the excitement fades

      2. Access must always follow alignment:— Just because someone wants you, pursues you or speaks spiritual language it                 does not mean they have access to your heart. Discernment is not paranoia—it is protection and you are allowed to slow                   things down until clarity shows up

     3. You can’t heal in the same environment that kept wounding you:– If your pattern is blurred boundaries or consistent                         compromise when you feel lonely, then starting over right will require accountability and intentional separation from                          anything that pulls you back into old cycles

Remember This

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way” — Psalm 37:23

God is not intimidated by your detours and He is still fully able to realign your steps when your heart finally chooses alignment over assumption.

So, if you find yourself in a season where you feel like you’ve kissed too many frogs, don’t sit in shame. Sit in God’s truth that you are forgiven, redeemed and loved. Because the same God who redeems your story is also the One who teaches you how to start over right.

Reflect On This 

Have you ever found yourself holding on to a relationship or connection, hoping this “frog” would finally turn into something different, even when the red flags and lack of peace were already showing you the truth?

Leave A Comment….

If this story encouraged you, share it with someone who needs a reminder that God is still working. And I would love for you to let me know how this blog blessed you🤍