“Jesus loves me…Jesus loves me…Jesus loves me…Those were the words I would pray at night while crying in bed at night wondering if God heard me or was he ignoring me. At a young age I grew up thinking that I was “different” than my two sisters because I had same sex attractions to girls. I didn’t understand it all at the age of seven. But as I grew older in my mind I thought that God made me to be “born gay” because of the rejection I felt from my father who was in and out of prison most of my childhood. So, I felt like if my father didn’t love me than why would any man want me? So, that pain of rejection of feeling unloved by my father began a whirlwind of events in my life that lead me to practicing the lifestyle of homosexuality. I remember my first and last “relationship” that opened my eyes.
This woman came to my then apartment and told me “I can’t do this with you, this isn’t the lifestyle for you.” And she left! My heart was broken into pieces but now I see that God was actually doing me a favor. It wasn’t about her not loving me, she did, but it was about God loving me so much that despite how much “she loved me” I would of still busted hell wide-open. BUT GOD! He lead me to a church prayer service one night. I didn’t know what to pray about but I knew that if God was indeed God than me praying one last time about what I felt like on the inside than just maybe he would bow down low enough to hear me..AND HE DID!
After service I confessed and repented of my sins and surrendered my life to God wholeheartedly. That night it felt like God was breaking chains off my body to the point were when I left I had no desire for women and the lie from the enemy was exposed of being “born gay” when in fact I needed to be born again! God, not only regenerated my spirit but he restored my relationship with my father. Now, I am an author of two books, sought-after conference speaker and the Founder of: Confession is a Lifestyle evangelical ministry, and a entrepreneur. Despite the titles nothing is more liberating than knowing I am a daughter of a king. You See: Satan, counted me out but God counted me in. God Bless, Tearsa Hairston.