This is one of my dating app profile pic:-)
So… I debated whether to write this one…
Not because I don’t have the story — trust me, I have the story but because I know how this topic tends to go in Christian circles. Either people act like online dating is the spiritual equivalent of going to a nightclub or they overspiritualize it and pretend every match is a divine appointment.
Plus, I was a serial online “dater” before Christ, so I had noooo intentions to ever do online dating as a Christian, but that’s how God decided to write my story so here we are.
This is NOT a blog to give you tips on how to do online dating and this is not an encouragement or discouragement… I am simply writing my experience since so many people have been asking. The decision is yours whether you try online dating or not…
First, Let Me Set The Scene
Like many of you, there came a point in my singleness where I had prayed, fasted, served in ministry, worked on myself, healed from things, gone to therapy (yes, therapy — don’t let anyone shame you for that) and I was still single.
I know we have been told to work on ourselves to prepare for a husband and like many single Christian women, I got salty after feeling like I had done the work and no husband in sight. I eventually realized that my motivation to become my best self should be to grow my intimacy with my true Husband Maker (Jesus, the lover of my soul) and not because I was doing it for an earthly man.
Then my little sister, Kimone, suggested I try online dating.
Again, as someone who used dating apps a lot before Christ, I wasn’t interested.
Eventually, I was traveling a lot in 2025, so I decided to sign up for a few apps since I low-key wanted to marry someone overseas (I used to say 1 billion men in the world, why should I marry a Jamaican man… watch Jesus laughing at me now).
I also admit, part of the reason for not wanting to do online dating was how I heard many Christian women seemed disgusted by the idea. It was like saying to God, “I don’t trust You to bring him, so I’m going to go find him myself.” And I know some of you relate to that feeling. Like, somehow using an app meant you lacked faith.
On my profile, I made it clear I was a Jesus Girl looking for a Christian man who won’t waste my time.
I must admit I enjoyed my experience.
It’s not because I met my now fiancé, but I guess because I like writing, it was nice just meeting new people. Of course, most weren’t Christian, but the guys I did eventually either hang with or converse with, I found them to be really cool guys (and these are the ones I met overseas).
I had noo interest in Jamaican men from the app. So once I got back to Jamaica, I deleted the app and carried on my merry ways.
Until October 2025…
I always say I don’t know if it was boredom or divine intervention (I think it was both), I decided to sign up back on the Bumble app since I was preparing to travel in November and December.
Since I was in Jamaica, the app started pairing me with Jamaican men, of course. My curiosity said, let me see what those options looked like.
I met a few guys, but two stood out to me (Mr. Tucker and another guy that I had met before, so I was teasing him about being on a dating app). I eventually started talking to both guys for a few weeks.
… And here we are several months later, engaged, planning a wedding to the man God kept for me that I met on a dating app (God has a sense of humor aye).
What Nobody Tells You About Online Dating as a Christian Woman
- The options are… interesting: I’m not even going to sugarcoat this. Online dating as a Christian woman will test your discernment. You will encounter men who put “God-fearing” in their bio but their faith is not aligned. You will match with someone who quotes scripture in his opening message and then you realize, nope, his version of Christianity is lukewarm. So, you’re going to have to be patient.
- The loneliness can make you lower the bar without even realising it: There is something about being on a dating app that creates a kind of low-grade urgency, especially when you’ve been single for a while. You start to reason with yourself. He’s not exactly what I prayed for, but he’s close enough. Maybe I’m being too picky. Maybe I need to be more realistic. And before you know it, you’re having conversations that your spirit is not fully at peace about, simply because attention feels better than absence. So, do regular heart checks because loneliness is a sneaky thing. It will dress itself up as open-mindedness. It will call your discernment “too religious.” Don’t let it.
- Guarding your heart online can take more intentional work than offline dating: We talk a lot about guarding our hearts in Christian dating spaces, but nobody prepares you for how fast emotional attachment can build through texting (if you are a texter like me). You can be talking to someone for two weeks and feel more connected to them than people you’ve known for years, simply because of the volume and intimacy of conversation. And then if it doesn’t work out, the grief feels crazy, given how long you actually knew each other. Story time – I remember being overseas and meeting a guy and he seemed so nice. I was leaving the place the next day and he offered to take me to the airport after talking for a few days. When he dropped me off at the airport, I said, “You seem like a guy who ghosts women”. I don’t know where that came from. He, of course, denied that he would do that. We spoke consistently for a few days, then we decided to share each other’s social media platforms after (PS. I don’t share my social media with men until I am sure it’s something). For a few days, he kept saying, “Wow, you’re popular and like a minister!”. A few days later… I was ghosted (the audacity). So, I say create your rules and trust your discernment – how quickly you would share your personal number, do a phone call, when you would suggest meeting in person and how much of your heart you are willing to share in the texting phase.
- Some men are on dating apps specifically looking for women who don’t have strong standards: I’m sorry, but I have to say this plainly. Some men know exactly how to talk to a Christian woman. They know the phrases and the right amount of faith-talk to disarm her. This is not about being suspicious of every person you meet. It’s about taking your time. Watching what someone’s actions say alongside their words. And trusting that God-given uneasiness in your spirit, even when everything on paper looks right. I have heard many men say they prefer to date Christian women because they know they won’t cheat on them and they are easy to have sex with when they hear the right words. This is a sad reality that many of us talk about purity, but when the time comes, we don’t live it out (I know this has been me many times as sad as it is to admit). (I mean, Mr. Tucker did ask me if I was a real Christian who is waiting on sex before marriage (chuckling).
- It can also be genuinely good: Here’s the grace in all of this — online dating also gave me some really meaningful, God-filled conversations. I met men who were genuinely seeking God, genuinely working on their character and genuinely ready for something real. Not every interaction was a lesson in disappointment. Again, I have met some guys who I am still friends with today who didn’t work out as life partners, but I have even introduced them to other single girlfriends (my friends call me a matchmaker).
What I Took Away From the Whole Experience
Dating (online or otherwise) as a Christian woman is not for the faint-hearted. Online dating requires the same spiritual clarity, emotional maturity and discernment that offline dating requires — actually, in some ways, more. Because the access is so much wider and the signals can be so much noisier.
But here is what I want you to hold onto if you’re in this season:
- Using a dating app is not a lack of faith — Abraham sent a servant to find a wife for Isaac. Ruth positioned herself on the threshing floor. God has never been limited to one method. He works through your obedience, not your expectations. I can say I genuinely learned during that season that God is not limited to how He brings the right person.
- Your standards are not the problem — If someone tells you that you’re “too spiritual,” too picky or too focused on God — that’s information, not conviction. Protect your standards, not lower them. God-given convictions are not obstacles to love; they are your filter.
If you’re sitting there right now wondering whether it’s even worth trying, I just want to say, keep trusting God in this. Whether it’s online, offline or completely unexpected, your story is still being orchestrated by the best Matchmaker there is.
Let’s Talk About It
Have you tried online dating as a Christian? What was your experience like? I’d love to hear from you in the comments — the good, the lessons, the awkward profiles… all of it 😂
If this blog blessed you, share it with a girlfriend who’s in her single season and needs to know she’s not alone.
I love you and God loves you more ❤️
Thanks for reading💛
Crystal
Feel free to email me: crystalsdaye@gmail.com