I had plans to write about How I Know The Person I Am Courting Is The ‘One’, especially based on my last blog about “If He Is Not The One” But I sense a leading to share on a few topics before I talk about that.
Here’s the thing: while I know many persons reading this blog want to hear more about my singleness-to-marriage journey, I want it to be very clear — this journey has little to do with a man and everything to do with a Faithful GOD.
As much as I have always shared how I love men or that I am “man-centered” (based on the new trend and me being ‘nuff’ 😅)… I promise you JESUS IS MY LIFE.
Marriage, love, family, purpose, impact, wealth… a man (even a godly one whom I love dearly)… are simply added bonuses of abundance and blessings when we truly love Jesus and when God is more than enough.
I felt I needed to add that disclaimer because if you build your life around your desires to be a wife, mother, entrepreneur or anything else without making Jesus your highest priority, nothing you think you deserve or desire will ever fill the void in your heart.
Patiently Waiting vs Waiting Well
Hebrews 6:15 – “And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised”
In December 2025, I was talking to God about dating and preparing for marriage. I heard clearly: “Crystal, you waited patiently, but you didn’t wait well” . To me, that didn’t make sense because I thought waiting well meant waiting patiently (and vice versa). Considering how many times I messed up on my singleness journey, I knew I didn’t wait well, and I felt sorrowful about it. I wasn’t comfortable with what I heard, so I asked God to show me in the Scriptures because if it is not in God’s Word, then it is not from God — it is just my mind.
Then I came upon the scripture about Abraham waiting patiently and I was shocked.
Think about it. Abraham and Sarah tried to take matters into their own hands by letting their slave girl Hagar bear Ishmael. And man, I am embarrassed to say I entertained too many Ishmaels during my waiting season.
Then the revelation came — the difference between waiting patiently and waiting well!!!
Waiting Patiently
Waiting patiently is about enduring the time (the length of the wait). It means we didn’t quit. We didn’t walk away from the promise. We endured even when it was hard and uncomfortable.
Waiting Well
Waiting well is about stewarding the time (our heart posture during the wait). It means we trusted God while waiting. We didn’t question God or constantly complain. We stayed surrendered and obedient even when we didn’t see the promise being fulfilled in our timing.
The difference is: Waiting in TIME vs Waiting in FAITH.
What Waiting Patiently vs Waiting Well Looked Like Practically for Me
I didn’t settle and marry just because I felt lonely or desperate. Even when I entertained random men, somehow I always felt convicted and repented. I didn’t rewrite God’s Word to fit my season. I kept desiring righteousness even when I struggled. I kept believing God’s promise even though the time felt long.
But here is what showed that I didn’t wait well.
I compromised my values in moments when I knew better. I didn’t honor God with my body and fornicated. I ignored God’s voice when I got a clear NO because it appeased my flesh.
Proverbs 24:16a – “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again…”
As I mentioned before, I started receiving prophetic words about a husband since 2015. It took ten years to see the manifestation of this promise. While everyone applauded me for “waiting on God”, honestly, I felt condemnation and shame because I knew I didn’t wait well. I felt like patience wasn’t enough. I believed I could have done better because I knew better.
Then God reminded me of Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
God showed me something powerful. Abraham didn’t wait well — yet he is still called the Father of Faith. Sarah didn’t wait well either. She even laughed at God, yet she is still named a hero of the faith in Hebrews 11.
God is saying to someone reading this: — “Just because you failed in a season doesn’t mean you have been counted out. Pick yourself up and keep believing”.
That’s what Sarah did. She didn’t let her failure redefine her identity. And you shouldn’t let any failure, misstep or bad choice redefine you either. A mistake (or even many mistakes) does not cancel your purpose or calling. Repent and move on.
Five Lessons on How to Wait Well on God (Not Just Wait Patiently)
These are lessons I wish I had learned better during my ten-year journey of waiting on God to fulfill His promise that I would become a wife:
1. Keep your heart surrendered to God daily: — Waiting well is not just about how long you wait, but how surrendered your heart remains during the wait. Every season will test whether you truly trust God or if you simply want what He promised. Surrender means saying: “Lord, even if the promise takes longer than I expected, I still choose You always”.
2. Guard your convictions even when your emotions are loud: — Loneliness, desire, and impatience can make you negotiate with your values. Waiting well means choosing obedience even when your flesh wants comfort. You cannot trust your feelings. They will lead you astray. One day, you may realize you have lost reverence for God and have started taking matters into your own hands — just like Sarah and I did. Feelings come and go, but convictions must remain.
3. Don’t silence God’s voice just because it confronts your desires: — There were moments when I knew God said “NO,” but I entertained situations anyway because it pleased my flesh. Waiting well requires the courage to listen to God, obey God and believe God, even when His answer disappoints you in the moment.
4. Manage how you complain and murmur: — Waiting seasons will test your emotions. There will be moments when you feel frustrated, tired, discouraged, or even forgotten by God. God can handle your honesty, but we must be careful that our hearts do not shift into constant complaining. Complaining hardens our hearts, blinds us to God’s faithfulness, and it does not make the waiting season go any faster. In fact, complaining often makes the season feel longer and can lead to bitterness because the promise can easily become an idol without you realizing it. Instead of rehearsing what isn’t happening yet, remind yourself of what God has already done. Gratitude protects your heart while you wait on God’s promises to be fulfilled.
5. Continue becoming who God called you to be while you wait: — I used to ask God, “What else do I need to learn, jeez?” But now that I am courting, honestly, I wish I had believed everyone who said God’s timing is perfect. It really is. This is the season for marriage. It couldn’t have been one year ago or five years ago. Waiting is not a pause on your purpose. It is preparation. The season of waiting should develop your faith, character, obedience, and intimacy with God so that when the promise comes, you are ready to steward that well too.
I cannot stress enough that God’s rejection is definitely for our protection. Trust your Father’s heart toward you.
Finally, remember this:
Waiting well is not about being perfect. It is about stewardship. God is not looking for perfection in your eyes. He is looking for faith that refuses to quit. So if you feel like you didn’t wait well in a season, take heart. God is still writing your story. Your mistakes did not cancel His promise. You can repent, realign, and keep trusting because His promises are YES and AMEN in Christ Jesus.
I pray this blesses you!!
I love you And God loves you more ❤️
Thanks for reading💛
Crystal
Feel free to email me: crystalsdaye@gmail.com