Good Grief! I remember hearing that expression as a child when some adult was upset, surprised or annoyed and they didn’t want to use curse words. I hardly hear that kind of euphemism anymore but the phrase popped in my head and would not leave. So, as I mulled it over, I began to wonder if there really can be such a thing as good grief. Grief for me involves the gut-wrenching painful agony of coping with the loss of someone or something that we hold dear. How can we ever describe this as good? This pandemic has literally left millions of us mourning the loss of people, lifestyles, jobs and the normalcy we clung to. Good grief man! In my devotional “Grief Stricken”, I discuss strategies to handle grief, here I want to go into the kind of mindset that can make the process of grieving good rather than self-destructive.
I think the hardest part about grieving is accepting the reality of what’s happening. As a result, our knee jerk reaction is to stuff our pain in a box and pretend all is well. Ecclesiastes 3 declares there is a time and place for everything; A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:4 NLT). Let’s shed the pretense and the need to just “get on with life”. Instead, lower your defenses before God and present your pain. Holler and roll, write, draw, express your thoughts in whatever way is natural to you. Trust me, God can handle your emotions. He will address what we present to Him for healing.
During the early stages of my own grief and trauma, I did all of the above. I may have put up a brave face to the outside world but not to God. I told Him exactly how I felt about everything including my thoughts towards Him (which weren’t pretty). Expressing your pain consciously via “safe” outlets means you are less likely to randomly lash out at people who have done nothing to hurt you, go on a shooting rampage or build a fortress of impenetrable stone around you that makes it difficult to feel, receive or give love.
Good grieving allows you to function properly in spite of your pain. Two mindset keys to good grieving are gratitude and gleaning lessons. Let’s set the record straight; grief when it comes to a loved one is not a bridge you cross to get to the “State of Perpetual Happy”. Accept that this new normal of yours will remain with you but it doesn’t have to pull you into depression. Be grateful for the moments you did have with them and embrace the lessons they did teach. What aspects of their character could you emulate and inculcate in your own heart? What opportunities present themselves now that your circumstances have changed? Think about it and make the effort to grieve well.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.2.1″][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.2.1″ type=”4_4″][et_pb_team_member image_url=”https://crystaldaye.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/20200105_171856-scaled.jpg” _builder_version=”4.2.1″ hover_enabled=”0″]Kavanaugh Dickson Williams is a Best Selling Author, Speaker and blogger for “Lady Kavan Writes.” Her writing is intended to help others navigate complex emotions in the context of the Bible. Send her an email at ladykavanwrites@gmail.com for an invitation into her Inner Circle. Check her website: www.ladykavanwrites.com Follow Lady Kavan on Instagram @ladykavw; Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ladykavanwrites/ or on Youtube : Lady Kavan
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