I stood in the bus almost in tears.
My feet ached. Christelle was asleep in a stranger’s lap. The rain was pouring heavily and I had 3 bags. To top it all off, I left my bank card so I had no money to get dinner… sighL
In my mind I’m thinking, “Lord, the walk to my house is so long and it’s raining… really?”
To be honest, it has been a rough two weeks. It’s almost like the warfare has intensified and I felt my faith getting shaky.
There are days that I’m pumped and decide to keep fighting; while there are other times when I feel like this is just too much.
I’ve been sharing my journey of “Trusting in God’s faithfulness”. However, it seems like every time I post a blog, the battle gets hotter and I decided I just won’t blog anymore until my breakthrough comes.
I began to get anxious, weary and overwhelmed.
God is working in the background. I can feel it because He has come through in so many ways, but even those areas don’t feel like it’s enough.
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
So, I have had to make a conscious decision to go to God daily and give Him these burdens. Every. Single. One. The financial and work burdens, I say God here take it. The being a single mother burden – I leave it your hands. The ministry, church, car issues, relationships and my business…..take the case Father because You know best.
The Greek for “rest’ is anapauó which means ease or refresh.
Lord, please give me some ease I pray and refresh me daily, but sometimes it feels the answers to my prayers aren’t coming. All He keeps saying is He is in control.
“Arghhhh… God I know you are in control so please act anytime soon.. Please and Thanks” (in my baby voice).
His response once again is “Crystal…. I AM IN CONTROL”.
Okay Lord…
So I turn on my worship music, I start praying for somebody else, I decide to listen to a sermon and read more of His Word.
Can you relate to this?
I wanted to wait until my breakthrough came before I posted another blog, but I know God wants me to share this lesson in the middle of the storm. HE IS IN CONTROL!
I know Jehovah.. the Great I AM.. is bigger and more than capable to handle every and any situation I may be facing. My only job now is to trust in His Sovereignty that He will do it in His timing and not mine. Now that’s the hard part….
So, I speak His promises over my life and remind myself:
“Lean not on my own understanding”….
“He’s my refuge and my strong tower”….
“He has great plans for my life”…
“He can do exceedingly more than I can imagine”
“The Lord is with me wherever I go”
I feel His peace. I feel His presence. I feel assurance. I feel hope.
So back to my bus episode… I got to my stop and the rain suddenly ceased.
I walked to the nearby shop to get Christelle something to eat and I saw a neighbor who gave me a ride to my apartment. In the midst of my worry God showed up and reminded me that He is faithful.
“After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.” – 1 Kings 19:12
Jehovah came through again and I wait in expectancy for Him to do it again.
GOD IS IN CONTROL!!
God loves you and I love you too!!
Crystal
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