Rejection is something we all face in life. If we think simply about the things that we have ‘rejected’, it comes down to us perceiving this is not good enough and it’s not valuable. This is why when we are rejected it is such a painful experience because it leaves us feeling less valuable and this hurts so much.
I could make a list of so many circumstances where we have felt rejected, but I won’t. As you read this blog, I want you to personalize it. Think about some of the times you have felt your deepest rejection and as you continue reading, I pray you will apply it to your own life so today your healing/restoration process can begin.
Being rejected causes emotional and spiritual wounds. Some of these includes unforgiveness, jealousy, envy, blaming God, low self-esteem, anger, depression, bitterness, self-hatred, rebellion and revenge. It also affects us physically like increase headaches, disrupts our sleep and can even leads to mental illness (and if you have ever had a broken heart you can relate a bit to these feelings). This tells you how important it is for us to deal with rejection.
Not dealing with rejection can lead to a life of:
a) Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness
b) Fabricated personalities (being somebody you aren’t, in order to be accepted)
c) Fear of confrontation
d) Feeling the need to be overly opinionated and need to always be right
e) Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone
f) Increase pride that says, “How dare they reject me!”
g) Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness
h) Fear of correction because you believe everyone is out to get you
i) Self-rejection (not liking who you are and leads to further self-hate and self-resentment)
j) Constantly seeking approval of family and friends over God
SIGH… Even as I write this blog, the memories of rejection still hurt and explains why I make some decisions that I’ve made in the past.
A life of rejection allows us to live for the approval of others and when we do things to get others to applaud us and the thought of letting people down leads us to say ‘yes’ to everything.
So how do we deal with rejection? How do we overcome these feelings of needing others approval?
1) Accept the rejection – Yes! I said it. Many times we live in denial and try to hide these feelings then they fester into more deep rooted issues. Think about a simple wound, if you don’t deal with it and put band aid over it, then it break out into sore which is harder to treat. Admit that it does hurt and allow time to get over this situation.
2) Put God in first place – He’s the only one who can ultimately meet all your needs. You will never have all your needs met by any person or group of people. Human love is limited; God’s love is unlimited and unconditional. No matter how deep your need is, he can fill it.
3) Reject the Rejection – Rejection is only destructive when we internalize it. Since we cannot control what other people think, we have no control over whether or not people approve of us. We are only in control of our own attitudes and beliefs. If we allow the opinions of others to affect the opinions we have of ourselves, then we are allowing those who hurt us to control our thoughts. If we keep our thoughts focused on how much God loves us, we won’t dwell on the opinions of others.
4) Forgive – If you hold on to the hurt, it will only end up hurting you. When you don’t forgive others, it creates bitterness and anger in you. Forgiveness is not about trusting the person again or forgetting everything that happened. It’s about putting the situation in God’s hands instead of seeking revenge or holding a grudge.
5) Understand that you are made in the image of God – Men and women are God’s most unique works of art, His masterpieces! There is no one more valuable and precious than You (a child of God). We can combat the destructive forces of rejection by understanding our position in Christ. Spend time focusing on who we matter to instead of who we don’t. During painful times in our life, we can triumph if we remember that God is our strength. We do not need the world’s approval, and we will never be able to please everyone. We only need the approval of God.
I will stop for now, as I allow you to process these five steps to overcoming rejection. Part 2 will be coming soon. But as I end this blog, I want you to say this prayer as I declare that today is the beginning of your restoration.
Prayer: Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus. Lord Jesus, it is comforting to know that You understand and sympathize with my weaknesses and this excruciating pain of rejection. I ask You to forgive my sins, and I receive Your mercy; I expect Your healing grace to dispel the rejection I am suffering because of the false accusations and demeaning actions of others. Also, forgive me for self-hatred and thinking that I’m less than others. It’s awesome to understand that I’m created in Your image. Everything You make is good. In the face of rejection I am declaring, “The Lord is my Light and my Salvation — whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps. 27:1). You chose me before the foundation of the world and I am accepted by you, my Father. I give you all the glory in the name of Your precious Son, Jesus!
May God bless you my friends. Thank you so much for reading this blog.
To God to be Glory****
Crystal
Crystal
Feel free to email me with questions or concerns at shachene@gmail.com
This was,the same thing I was thinking about today and how painful it is,i can totally relate and what you say is so true only God can heal that wound this is indeed a confirmation.
Amen sis. I've come to realize that even though rejection hurts sometimes it's God's protection. There are some men that rejected me years ago that I look back now and I'm like "wow, thank you God". It's a process to learn that sometimes you are removed from people and situations for a reason and that though it hurts. God knows best
God bless you sis… Thank you!
U r so motivated and strong thanks for all ur advice