Singleness… Those who live in it, are often told how to live it from so many different perspectives, but I’ve found myself wondering what it looks like from God’s perspective. I’m 32 and single with no prospects, no previous engagements, or serious relationships that seemed hopeful. I’m often told to lower my standards, go out more, spend more time in church, wear more dresses and makeup, travel, make money, get physically fit, cook more, and become “whole” giving the impression that if I do all these things, marriage will be my reward. Well guess what! Marriage is not a reward, nor is singleness a punishment. Singleness is done so differently among believers and non-believers from past and present generations, and I’ve wrestled with much of the advice that is often given to singles. The only source that has given me peace is the word of God. Yes, God loves marriage, but more than marriage, He loves us individually. He loves us so much that he uniquely created us with a purpose to fulfill in our singleness and in marriage, if that’s His will for your life.
Singleness is not an obstacle to overcome or a race we must win to make it to the altar. It’s a season or state of being that allows us to complete certain assignments God has designed for us. When praying about singleness, God has always brought me back to Matthew 6:33 (AMP).
But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also.
I’ve recognized that the root of most discontentment is a result of not living with Matthew 6:33 in mind. We live in a society where singleness is associated with the appearance of having less value and the fact is our value comes from Christ and nothing else. God is placed on the backburner and that causes us to become distracted. Our number one task in life is to live unto God, His will and His purpose. This will look different for all of us. A scripture that is often taken out of context is Psalm 34:7 (AMP).
Delight yourself in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart.
What many fails to consider is that by delighting yourself in the Lord, there is a perspective shift that begins to manifest within us. We no longer see through the lens of our fleshly desires because the Holy Spirit shifts our way of thinking. Singleness becomes an opportunity and marriage becomes an extension of that with someone else. If you desire marriage, don’t be so hard on yourself because God created it for a reason and when it’s done according to his will, marriage is a blessing. When I say blessing, I don’t mean a void filler. It is an addition that will enhance you and provide a greater example of God’s glory and power.
As an advocate for living well in all seasons, God has challenged me to simply L.I.V.E! He reminded me that we are called to live intentionally, victoriously, and expectantly for all God has in store for us. So next time someone asks you why you’re single, simply respond that you are LIVE, living intentionally, victoriously, and expectantly. This mantra should follow us in any season of our life because God’s will for us is far greater than our marital status.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.2.1″][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.2.1″ type=”4_4″][et_pb_team_member image_url=”https://crystaldaye.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Dr.-Ashlei-Evans-scaled.jpg” _builder_version=”4.2.1″ hover_enabled=”0″ custom_padding=”||0px|||”]Dr. Ashlei N. Evans is the founder and author of The Ash Exchange. Her purpose in life is to embrace the brokenhearted, educate the lost, and empower the hopeless to walk into the life God has called them to. More details about her coaching, consulting, speaking services, products, and blogs are available at her website, www.TheAshExchange.com, where you can also gain access to updates, resources, and weekly words of encouragement by subscribing to her page.
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