Goodbye Single Life: What I’m Letting Go Of

I can’t believe my wedding day is just around the corner. It feels like just the other day our journey started…. I sit here some nights and just shake my head because… how did we get here? Like, here here. Days away. Not months, not “soon” but actual days. And every time it hits me, I have to pause and just say … The LORD is Kind:-)

So before I become Mrs. Tucker, before I step into this next chapter, I wanted to sit down and write this one out… not just for you, but for me. A goodbye letter to single Crystal. Let me take you back to the beginning first…

How It All Started

We met on a dating app, definitely not how I predicted my love story would go. We talked for a few days and when he asked to meet, I told him straight up — no dates. If we were going to do this, let’s keep it casual. I had a training at the office that Saturday, so I told him he could just swing by after, no pressure!

He showed up with lunch, a bottle of wine (non-alcoholic) and music; like he had already decided this moment mattered before I even knew it was happening. I reminded him that I said it was a casual hangout. He smiled and said “Just in case you don’t talk to me again, you will always remember our first interaction”.

That was my first real glimpse of him… a man who pays attention, who shows up fully, who doesn’t waste moments, even ones that were never supposed to be a big deal.

The Little Things I ‘ll Never Forget

I remember when we had what felt like 100 questions for each other every single day. Every time my phone made a noise, I would get excited wondering if he was texting me. I remember our first argument when he was sick and upset because I didn’t bring him soup. I remember the day he showed up wearing a whiteboard under his shirt with words written across it that said, “I am sorry. I don’t want to lose you”. Because he genuinely thought I was about to call it quits after that argument.

I remember the hours and hours we spent talking on the phone about everything and nothing at all. I remember the moments when we simply stared at each other, both silently grateful that somehow, through God’s divine orchestration, we found one another.

Confession: I Am a Hopeless Romantic

I have watched Twilight over 267 times. I am not exaggerating… I watched all five episodes and can quote many lines and that love story gets me every single time. I love me some Dear John. I will sit through a corny Hallmark movie any day of the year because I love a predictable, lovey-dovey, “they end up together in the end” kind of plot. Sue me.

So when I tell you my husband-to-be is romantic — even when it’s corny. I get love letters and roses just because. He pays attention to small things most people would miss. He tries to serve me, genuinely, not performatively. And the way he made my engagement proposal one of the most beautiful and memorable days of my life… I am truly grateful for an amazing courtship journey.

Why I Never Let Myself Dream About This Day

Here’s something I haven’t really said out loud before. I never used to imagine what my wedding day would look like. Every time I tried, I stopped myself, because I didn’t have a worthy groom standing on the other side of that vision. I had seen too many men pass me by who weren’t it and who weren’t worth the wedding fantasy. So I just… stopped imagining. It felt safer than hoping for something I wasn’t sure was coming or when it was coming.

I’m telling you that because I know someone reading this has done the exact same thing. You stopped picturing the wedding, the proposal, the good kind of love, because picturing it without the right person attached just hurt too much or too disappointing. I want you to know that not dreaming about it doesn’t mean it isn’t coming for you too.

What I See When I Close My Eyes Now

As nervous as I am, I am even more excited to say I Do forever to my best friend.

When I close my eyes, all I can see is his smile and him fighting back tears as I walk down the aisle toward him. I feel his arms around me as we sway to Crystal Gayle during our first dance. I hear the sound of the plane taking off as we head toward our honeymoon to begin our new life together as #TuckertakesDaye. It is all right there, so close I can almost touch it.

This Blog Is Public, But It’s Not For You

Over these last few months I have shared this journey with the world … well, my world, the people who follow me … of what a Christ-centered, purpose-driven courtship has actually looked like. Not because I think I did everything right. Not because I’m such a “good” person that God owed me this. If I’m honest, it’s the complete opposite.

It is simply God’s grace… His mercy… His steadfast, forgiving, redemptive love that brought me… brought us to this place. We know marriage will be filled with challenges, but we have decided to commit to the covenant and keep God at the center of our lives anyway.

So this blog is public, but truthfully, it’s not for you. It’s for me, one year from now, reading this and remembering exactly how it felt to say goodbye to single Crystal. It’s a love letter to the woman who didn’t give up on love, even after failing God more times than I can count, disappointing myself too many times to list, settling, compromising and regretting choices along the way… but who, somewhere deep down, kept believing anyway.

Dear Single Crystal…

I need you to know I see you. I see every version of you that got us here. I see the version of you that prayed for a love like this while watching it happen for everyone else around you. I see the version of you that said yes to people you knew weren’t it, just to feel chosen for a little while. I see the version of you that compromised standards you set in prayer and then cried about it later, asking God to forgive you — again.

I see the version of you that got it wrong, not once, not twice… too many times to count. The version that failed God in ways you were too ashamed to even tell your closest friends about. The version that looked in the mirror some nights and wondered if you had disqualified yourself from the very thing you wanted most. But here’s what I need you to hear.. none of that disqualified you. Every regret, every settle, every compromise was covered by a grace you hadn’t fully understood yet. You weren’t being punished by the wait. You were being prepared for it.

Baby girl, you kept believing when believing didn’t make sense anymore. You kept your heart open when closing it off would have been so much easier. You stayed soft when life kept handing you reasons to grow hard. And boo… look at you now.

You don’t have to carry the shame of who you used to be into who you’re about to become. Leave it here. Let it go. The wait is over and the man on the other side of it was worth every tear you cried believing he was coming.

The truth is, don’t let go off everything. Take your resilience with you… take your faith with you.. take the wisdom and your unwavering belief in God’s goodness with you.

I love you. I love the woman you’ve become. I adore the woman you’re becoming. Now… Go be Mrs. Tucker and enjoy every moment of your wedding day after months of planning and years of praying. Go let that man love all of you!!

— From Single Crystal To Mrs. Tucker

Break For Now

This is my final blog for a few weeks— until maybe September — as I give myself time to get used to this new role, this new identity, this new calling. I don’t take it lightly and I want to step into it fully present as Mr. Tucker’s nice clean wife.

Please follow our journey on Instagram — our page @tuckersbuiltbycovenant and my personal page @crystalsdaye — because we will be posting our wedding day and our honeymoon adventures there, and I want you to be able to enjoy that with us.

Thank you for walking this courtship season with me. Thank you for praying for us and for all the love we have been receiving.

I pray this next chapter blesses you the way sharing it has blessed me.