God… Did I Hear You Wrong? (Part 2)

I was waiting on GOD… not a man!! 

I know this, but I believe most people who read the story thought otherwise.

Writing that blog didn’t feel courageous. It actually felt foolish.

Why put your business out there like this? As they say, some things you should take to the grave with you. But here we are—me writing this at the airport, already regretting that I hit publish on Part 1, secretly happy that I wouldn’t have WiFi for a few hours, so I didn’t have to see people’s reactions.

I kept telling myself, Once I get WiFi again, I’m going to delete the blog. Shoot… Crystal, whyyyy?

I walked slowly to my gate. Feeling sorry for myself. Wondering if I should even write Part 2. Then suddenly, a lady shouted in excitement, “Crystal Daye! Oh wow! I get to meet you in person.” She said she had been following me for years, back when I had about 300 followers. She said she was proud of me and the work I was doing. She shared that she wanted to write a book, but life had been so busy. But whenever she did write it, it would be published by DayeLight. She said, “I’m so proud of you. I’m happy to meet you.”

I walked away feeling humbled about the impact of my work… but still feeling foolish. But it was a good reminder: This isn’t about me. 

For years, I kept wondering what would really be the lesson from this sucky experience, especially when people keep misunderstanding the situation, thinking this was about me waiting or begging God to be with a man; when honestly, all I kept thinking was why God allowed me to go through this. 

By the end of this blog, I don’t have a clear answer to the WHY questions… but I will still share encouragement to two types of women I pray this blog will bless. 

So let’s continue ….

Life Moves On

By 2018, honestly, I had moved on with my life. Not that I completely forgot the prophecy—but too much was happening for me to sit around trying to figure it out. I started dating someone. A really good Christian guy. It was my first time dating as a Christian, and it was a good experience. I’m pretty sure we both hoped it would blossom into marriage. But it didn’t. And that was okay.

I think I spoke to the other guy once or twice around the time my sister was sick, but that was about it. Then one day, I realized something important: I needed to be released from what I believed I heard. Because deep down I knew that if I ever tried to marry someone else, I would struggle with the feeling that I was being disobedient to God, even though there was absolutely no sign that this prophecy would manifest.

So I started praying again.

But this time my prayer was different. I said: “Lord, obviously I was wrong. But the only way I will truly stop believing this is if you let him get married.” Because I know a married man can never be my husband. That would contradict Scripture.

So if you’re reading this and a man is married, but you believe he is your husband… he cannot be. He is in covenant. Until that man is divorced, don’t even allow yourself to entertain that thought.

Anyway… back to the story… 

I honestly don’t know how much time had passed because I was just living my life. But I will never forget the day one of my friends messaged me asking, “Did you see his Facebook page?” “He got married.”

Free at last…

And yup. That’s it. That’s the end of the story.

Very anti-climactic, right? LOL.

I’m sorry if I disappointed you. But honestly… I was relieved.

Battling lots of shame, thinking if I could be so wrong about this, what else am I wrong about? I questioned every single decision I thought I heard God. 

All I heard in my spirit, ‘the just shall live by faith‘… Romans 1:17

The Questions

Of course, I’m sure you have many questions I wish I could answer... “Did I hear God wrong? Did all those people hear God wrong?”

I wish I could give you a straight YES, but honestly… I don’t know.

I once shared this story with my therapist, who was also a Christian, and she gave me a perspective that has never left me. She asked me, “Did Abraham hear God wrong when God told him to sacrifice Isaac?” I said no. We know it was a test of obedience. She said, “But the difference is, we now read that story with the benefit of hindsight. All Abraham had in that moment was faith and trust in God”.  Then she asked me something that shifted my thinking, “What if this was simply a test of your obedience and faith? What if this wasn’t about a husband at all?”

At the time, that explanation didn’t make the experience any easier. But looking back now, as painful as it was, the only thing I would have done differently was to NOT tell so many people. The shame I’ve had to deal with afterward sometimes felt harder than simply admitting I may have heard God wrong.

One thing I’m certain I did right, though: I never told the person what I believed I heard. I was confident that if it was truly God’s will, then God would tell him and he would pursue me. I didn’t need to manipulate the situation. Because like I said before— I was never waiting on a man… I was waiting on God!!

Lessons I Learned

As I wrote this blog, a few lessons came to me: 

1. Every word from God must be tested by fruit

Looking back, nothing about that friendship bore good fruit. It was often confusing, toxic and painful. Again, this isn’t about blaming the person—it’s about my own reflection. Yes, life and relationships can have difficult seasons, but I don’t believe God would want His daughters to feel constant confusion and turmoil about something as sacred as marriage.

2. I don’t believe God asks His daughters to wait on a man to choose them

I truly believe the man God has for us will pursue us. He will be clear about his intentions. He will not string us along or leave us in constant confusion. Especially now, in my current courtship, I can clearly see the difference. This man of God values me as both a blessing and as God’s daughter. And I would tell my sisters: Never settle for a man who is unsure about you.

One of my best friends used to say this to me all the time: “I refuse to believe God would make you marry a man who doesn’t value you” and she was right.

3. I had to learn more about my identity in Christ 

Coming from the world, one of the biggest lessons for me was learning who I am in Christ. I learned how valuable I am to God. He calls me the apple of His eye. He has great plans for my life. And I should never believe anything less than that.

4. Waiting on God may stretch your faith, but it should not steal your peace

During that season, I was in agony, confusion and emotional turmoil. No, I wasn’t crying over a man (and I would know I have cried over men before). I was crying some days because I was thinking this couldn’t be God’s best, then other times I was crying because I wondered if I was wrong about this, how would I bounce back from the shame, then other times I was crying because it was just a tough season learning to navigate all that was happening.  I had no peace in that waiting. I had no hopeful expectation. It felt like torture.

I’ve waited on God for many things in my life—but I’ve never felt like that before. Waiting can come with many emotions believe me. But, if your waiting is stealing your peace, something is an idol. And our response should be repentance because the Spirit of God doesn’t bring turmoil. It brings joy. 

Looking back now, I realize that it couldn’t have been God.

5. God’s best will never require you to beg for love

The man God truly has for you will not require years of convincing, confusion or spiritual wrestling. When it is right, there will be peace. This isn’t only about that guy. I’ve dated other men and I’ve learned something simple: If a man is sure about you, he will marry you.

If you’re waiting years for him to decide whether you’re worth it, don’t listen to excuses about fear or not being ready.

When Adam saw Eve—he knew… When Isaac saw Rebekah—he knew… When Jacob saw Rachel – he knew. When Boaz saw Ruth—he knew.

If it takes him four years to decide… well, that’s a decision you’ll have to make for yourself (that’s between you and God). 

For years, I thought the lesson was simply about obedience, faith and waiting. But looking back now, I realize the deeper lesson was about discernment, identity and learning that God’s will never requires me to shrink myself or chase someone who isn’t choosing me.

So let me ask you: Are you truly waiting on God… or are you waiting on someone who has already shown you they are not choosing you?

My client Lori Kay, wrote a book called God Was I Wrong? and I believe it will truly bless you on this journey. I know many women who believed God told them who their husband would be. Some are now married and see the manifestation of that. But others struggle with the shame and guilt of being wrong when what they thought they heard from God didn’t come to pass.

It’s a real thing.

I tell Lori all the time she’s my hero for writing an entire book about it. Because even writing this blog means publicly dealing with the possible judgments that may come—especially now that I’m courting.

But I want someone to know this: Just like we believe our steps are ordered by God, we must also believe that even our missteps are ordered by Him too.

And somehow… God still uses it all!! 

I love you And God loves you more ❤️

Thanks for reading💛

Crystal