As I write this blog, I truly pray that I’ll be led by the Holy Spirit because it’s such a sensitive topic
First, I looked up the definition of self-love, dictionary.com says “Self-love is a belief you hold that you are worthy and valuable.”
Now, is there anywhere in the Bible that says we are worthy or valuable?
Hmm…I would say look to the Cross!
Jesus died because He saw us worthy and valuable to Him.
Here’s the thing, as believers we know the “world” perverts everything. There is a worldly view of success, which is success defined by money and accolades. There is a worldly view of sex, which is if I’m ready to have sex, just do it. There is a worldly view of purpose, which is defined by finding passion and happiness. All these views are not biblical. It is the world’s way, which is a lie and we know who’s the father of lies right?
Anyway, we can view “Self-love” the same way. The world will have their own definition, which is self-focus and selfishness. They see self-love as a way to see themselves even above others and the Bible warns us against this (1 Corinthians 13:4-6, Romans 2:8 ).
Philippians 2:3 – “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
But, I do believe there can be a balanced biblical view for loving oneself.
Here’s the thing, sometimes in church we are taught what not to do and all the don’ts of life; but many church leaders fail to teach us the Do’s of life.
So while we saying NO to the world’s view of self-love, we should teach that we should see ourselves as God sees us (reflect on Psalm 139).
- God has a plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11)
- God wants to have a relationship with us (John 17:3)
- His beautiful Spirit lives in us (John 14:16-17)
- We are made in the image and likeness of God (Genesis 1:27)
These scriptures tell us that we really do matter to God.
And if the Creator of the Universe sees us as valuable, worthy and beautiful, isn’t it a sin for us to view ourselves any less?
We should look to the Cross for your identity and acceptance. When you do this, you have no premise to see others less than you are or to focus on yourselves. This view of “self-love” or loving yourself should propel you to truly love others as Christ loves us (Mark 12:30-31); because we know He has made us all uniquely and wonderfully.
One of the beautiful thing about how Jesus taught while He was on the earth, was that He shared “how” we should DO things and not just focus on the “what” alone as the law did, by pointing out all the Don’ts.
So, how do we truly love oneself?
Through seeing yourself through God’s eyes.
As you the read the scriptures, God has shared so many promises and compliments about how He sees us. Read them. Reflect on them. Believe them.
So, yes I’ve seen the many arguments of believers saying all the reasons promoting “self-love” is wrong; which I won’t say that the constant message can be ungodly in some aspects. But there are many women sitting in church for years and years, never being able to tap into their God-given potential and promises because they still feel rejected, unloved, ugly and useless. Many of us don’t know who we are in Christ and accept that He has a custom-made purpose specially made for us, so we constantly yearn to be like others and struggle with jealousy and covetousness.
Therefore, we should spend time in God’s word so our minds can be renewed daily (Romans 12:2).
Let’s start to see ourselves as God sees us and realize that we must respect and love others because they are also uniquely loved and made by God.
I love you and God loves you more!
Crystal Daye