As human beings, we make mistakes, however, the beauty is that we can learn from them and improve who we are. Effective communication is a need for everyone. It may look different as age groups vary, but if you desire to communicate effectively with a particular group you should know the things you should and shouldn’t do. Here are three major tips on mistakes to avoid when communicating with teens.
- Making them feel like you’re always lecturing them
Have you ever sat in a classroom and have a teacher or lecturer simply disseminate information to you? He or she engages in a monologue and even if you are given an opportunity to speak, your concerns or contributions feel limited or restricted. This is exactly what teenagers do not want you to do. While you want to give them advice, you don’t want them to see you as their parents or just another adult, you want them to feel free to share with you. There is a reason they came to you in the first place. They believe you are comfortable to speak to and share with. They believe that their voice will be heard, that it will be a constructive and healthy dialogue. Don’t get their hopes up and not fulfill this need for them, avoid lecturing them.
2. Not listening
Often, we do not listen to understand, but instead, we listen to quickly respond. What happens when we do this is that we end up missing the point and deeper meaning of what is being shared with us. Additionally, as you listen, listen to the things that go unsaid, “read between the lines”. Often teens avoid explicitly sharing things when those things are the root of the issues and need to be tackled. Remember, the reason for the sharing is so that you can help to guide them, if you are not intentional about listening, missing the truth that you don’t have to always be talking, you may unintentionally steer your mentee(s) the wrong way.
3. Not being practical
Young people love to ask why-questions and don’t like to just be given a pie-in-the-sky theory. No one is knocking theories, but when the rubber meets the road, let’s be real, theories just won’t and don’t cut it. Try to share practical suggestions with them. Suggest to them practical solutions for issues they face and don’t “pretty” them up. Life is a rough and tough journey and while having you as support is great, when you aren’t physically there, how will they succeed if they don’t have a practical guide?
Hope these blogs have been a blessing to you on your youth coaching and mentoring journey.
If you want to learn more about mentoring youths, I am inviting you to join my upcoming webinar called Teen & Youth Mentorship: How To Effectively & Eternally Impact Young People on Tuesday June 30, 2020. Register at bit.ly/dayelightsummerclass to secure your space. Replay will also be available.